dowling & hughes : haiku reviews

long before “must love jaws” and “shining” took the youtube by storm, hughes and i were imagining “mash-ups” of movies. that’s right. bold statement. but there it is. did we actually edit together fun and entertaining trailers? no. god no. who has the time?

we still do occasionally enjoy a good mental remix.

with the deluge of lazy reinvention taking the screen by storm (transformers, tron, the A-team), i think it’s fair to revisit the notion of the mash-up as a way of capitalizing on that which we already love (and by love, i mean vaguely remember that it once existed) and recommodifying properties that lazy studios already own. “reimagine”, “reboot”, “rewatch”, “retarded”. but, also, “reawesome”.

here are some hot properties from the archives. and some we thought up this week. contact our people.

Slumdog Squarepants

Dogville and Z Boyz

2 Quick 2 Dead

Das Boot Trip

Seven Samurai for Seven Brothers

2001 Things I Hate About You

Glenngarry Glen Gould

The Big Chill’dren of the Corn

BrigaDUNE

Barbershopgirl

Big Momma’s House of the Spirits

The Cannonball Run Lola Run

….

stay tuned.

Dowling:

I don’t remember
anything that happened, but
it was terrific

Hughes:

Actual quality
Delicious popcornsplosions
Craig threatens straightness

…

Hughes:

Great East-West Prius
Hollywood-types hate this one
Boyle is just Midas

Dowling:

Nope. I felt nothing
except manipulation
Camera angles!

…

Dowling:

Sure: Gump meets Big Fish
Black people are mystical
Ormond relegated

Hughes:

I loved Fight Club, but
Unless it’s Palahniuk
Finch = rigor mortis

…

Dowling:

Soulless and tacky
Took three hours of my life
You did not like it

Hughes:

Classic example
Movies need antagonists
To not be boring

…

Hughes:

Again with the score!
Trying to make my heart race
When the two guys talk

Dowling:

Yes indeed, this was
a classic “Ron Howard film”
Plays don’t make good flicks

…

Dowling:

Remake in U.S.
Extract all the elegance
Zac Efron as lead

Hughes:

How did they get the
Guitarist from Bettie Serveert
To look twelve years old?

…

Hughes:

Fresh consequences
Of gratuitous violence
Neo-ekkyklema

Dowling:

Anagnorisis
A true one hit wonder, no?
Let’s get a taco

…

Hughes:

Oxygen Tank Death
Our pounding hearts provided
The musical score

Dowling:

Air gun to the head
No need of John Williams
I know how I feel

(note: written independently of one another)

…